That iPod Was A Great Gift For The Queen. It Has My Speeches!

Little Barry went to London
Riding on a Donkey
He gave the Queen an Apple thing
He wouldn’t spend the money

Because he ran on hope and change
He thinks he is just holy
But when you view his accomplishments
You’ll know he’s drinking Stoly

BP’s oil is pissing dear
into the Gulf Stream water
He wonders what on earth to do
Just like Jimmy Carter

Now we know his kind of man
Who thinks he knows the best
All he does is run around while
Beating his skinny chest

And so we’re in an election year
The Prez can’t find his tush
We’ll sit and watch him play his cards
And blame it all on Bush

The End

I not only forgot Earth Hour this year, I forgot Earth Day!

We were supposed to turn our clocks back an hour

Well, I gotta tell you, Earth Day is boring.  I don’t know how many morons openly celebrated Earth Day, I just hope none of my neighbors were involved.  Since my neighborhood is SUV city, I think most of them are pretty rational people.

Here is a video from that dirty old man, George Carlin, to help you understand the issue.

Maybe George Carlin’s routine can get the message across to people that we just don’t make a whole lot of difference to the Earth and its systems.  We may be able to destroy ourselves, but we are a long, long way from being able to destroy Planet Earth.

bb

HT to jamiewearingfool blog.

ganja, weed, mary jane, hemp, hash

Times are getting tough.  With the national health care bill pointing to the extermination of our senior citizens, and with the constant plunder of our savings by the Obamastan Government, I am basically screwed.

Yep.  The Democrats are out to nationalize our 401K’s, IRA’s, and personal savings so they can buy more illegal alien votes.  From the looks of things they will succeed.

Normally, my non-violent outlet is to have a couple of drinks of fine Tennessee whiskey or cheap Kentucky bourbon.  These days are coming to an end.

Having lost a kidney to cancer almost 4 years ago (no cancer problems, since), my health is being monitored by at least four members of the medical profession, one wife and a bossy daughter ( and countless favorite nieces).  These health Nazi’s will not permit me to indulge in the normal palliative applied to frustrated chaps like myself.

They don’t want me to drink whiskey, that age-old remedy for whatever ails you.  To make matters worse, even the medical people will tell you that alcohol consumption has nothing to do with kidneys. Alcohol just destroys the liver.  They still bitch at me!

Even at that, I would rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy.

But, wait!  There may be a solution on the horizon.

Medical marijuana!

Yeah, that’s it!  I will just move to California and get a prescription for medical marijuana, and retreat into pothead territory of a complete “I don’t give a shit!” dreamland.

Then again, there is a movement afoot to legalize the weed.  In my opinion that may not be a bad idea, and an argument can be made to legalize all drugs.  Of course, more people would be getting hooked on the hard stuff, but I have always felt like we didn’t need crack-heads in the gene pool, anyway.

Believe it or not, I have never smoked any marijuana, nor have I ever used any illegal drug.  It’s not that I am so smart, I am just a chicken and afraid of being caught.

Until I get my medical marijuana, I will just have to sneak a few bottles of Tennessee’s finest whiskey, Jack Daniels.

bb

Hat Tip to Hot Air, reason.tv

She is a sweet thing.  Joulie, the Ocean Heat Monster,  lurks hidden in the waters of some deep ocean abyss like the Loch Ness Monster waiting for the Great Climate-Change Text Signal that reads, “OMG!  It is time to empty the heat pipeline.”. 

Unfortunately, my little piece of fiction sounds like what respected climate scientists are claiming about a non-existent pipeline storing Mega-Joules of heat energy waiting to be dumped into the earth’s ecosystem.  This is their answer to the question, “Where has all that heat gone?” It was made in an attempt to explain why there has been no climate warming for the last decade in spite of the massive accumulation of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

Dr Pielke, a climate scientist of note, basically says that the idea of a heat pipeline storing “unrealized” heat is false.  If there is heat in a system, it is realized!

It gets real simple, real quick.  Heat energy is what it is.  By definition if it exists it has been realized. 

Nobody seriously contends that the earth has not gone through a period of global warming, and nobody can deny that we have been going through a period of global cooling.  The facts are the facts.

The essential disagreement is whether carbon dioxide is the dominant driver of global warming, and whether our future will be one defined by catastrophes caused by CO2 induced warming. 

It is time to get to serious science rather than inventing more non-existent monsters like Joulie.

bb

Many people will not remember Flip Wilson, one of the greatest comedians, ever.  In this video skit Flip is taught an arithmetic lesson my Michael Jackson.  This was the Michael Jackson before the bleach and nose jobs.

Thanks to Ace of Spades HQ.

Here are my predictions for 2010.

1. Alabama will win the NCAA Football Championship.  It they don’t, Texas will. A little prescience, here.
2. Tiger Woods will run as a Democrat for the US Senate.  He will get extra points for employing hookers in his campaign.
3. Harry Reid will be caught in bed with Nancy Pelosi.  OOPS!  Maybe that has already happened.
4. Jimmy Carter will write another book, “How An Idiot From South Georgia Can Become President”.
5. Mitt Romney will convert to atheism because a Mormon just can’t be elected to the Presidency.
6. Robert Byrd, US Senator from West Virginia, will be found crawling on his hands and knees looking for his marbles.
7. The New York Yankees will be in the World Series with some other team.
8. Former Illinois Governor Blogojevich will produce pictures of Barack Obama, Bill Ayers, and the Reverend Wright frolicking naked in bed.
9. Joe Biden will have another drink.
10. Record cold temperatures world-wide will be blamed on global warming.

Remember, you heard it here, first.

bb

The Mark Of The Evil Empire

The story starts in that most evil of villages, Chicago, where three young men were born, destined to bring about the collapse of an entire nation.  These three boys, Hussein, Emanual, and Axel, were born into modest but politically active homes headed, respectively, by a child abuser, a union leader, and a dirty cop.

The dynamics of this unholy trinity evolved as individual talents blossomed. Hussein became the obvious leader.  Weathering the abuse of being forced to smoke marijuana as a six year old, Hussein became horribly lazy. This condition supported his talents of manipulating people and lying, two indispensable attributes of every socialist politician on the planet.

Plus, Hussein was a good looking kid, and didn’t even air out the bathroom after his morning-glory sessions. He knew he didn’t smell like others.

Emanual was to obtain notoriety by whacking three of his cousins as they attended Sunday School.  It seems that worshiping God was a slap in the face to a servant of Satan like Emanual.  His dark talents have become legend in his devious handling of Hussein’s opposition.  Thousands will die as Emanual helps Hussein in their pursuit of dominance.

No, I did not forget Axel.  His major talent is to lie for Hussein and convince millions of modestly intelligent people that Hussein is the second coming of our Lord.  Axel would lie when the truth would sound better, and is always supported in his lies by his brothers and sisters in evil, the Demicrotch Party.

Their financial launch pad to political dominance was delivered by the evil witch and head of Chicago’s largest house of ill-repute, Jara. She hooked-up the criminally connected boys to the evil billionaire, Jorge Morose, who funded Hussein’s campaigns, evil internet blogs, and the Demicrotch Party which he owns outright.

Evil is as evil does.  What a wonderful, magically evil team.  Dishonest politicians, ambitious witches, and bitter billionaires is all it takes to still the beautiful music of freedom and democracy in the world.

This little fantasy ends with the election of The Evil One, Hussein, to the Presidency.  His malicious goals are aided by legions of Demicrotch politicians who have hitched their wagons to Hussein’s star.  The future is not rosy, and it appears that evil will overcome the world.

Where is the one who will save us from the ignominy of universal poverty?  Who will keep our spirits up as the Evil One apologizes for imagined slights on the rest of the world?  How will we overcome the outright theft of our children’s and grandchildren’s wealth as the Evil Empire forces us into economic slavery?  Who will save us?

All we have left is hope.  Yeah, now I get it.  It is all about hope and change.

bb

Note:  This fantasy has nothing to do with the real world.  And if you believe that, you are an agent of the Evil One.  Names have been fudged to confuse members of the Democrat Party whose actions are bringing shame to an entire nation.  I have plagerized liberally in form and substance for this article, and I apologize to no one.  I lifted the pentagram graphic from Wikipedia.

Cartoon by Chip Bok.

Those Minnesota folks are hilarious.  Here is more of their creativity.

Hat tip to The Reference Frame.

The Minnesotans for Global Warming are a creative crew.  View the following video, and expect to see more of them in the future.