SETI – The Institite for the Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence, is a waste of money.

Do you remember the Fermi Paradox?  Let me refresh your memory from the annals of Wikipedia.

“In an informal discussion in 1950, the physicist Enrico Fermi questioned why, if a multitude of advanced extraterrestrial civilizations exist in the Milky Way galaxy, evidence such as spacecraft or probes are not seen.”

If all those space guys are out there, why haven’t we seen them?  Were are the interplanetary, or interstellar probes?  The South Park episode of Cartman’s anal probe notwithstanding, the space guys just ain’t there.

South Park's Cartman and Satellite Dish

On the Discovery Channel’s presentation about the universe, one scientist states that the universe is over 150 billion light years across.  We all know that is a guess, but it does underline the idea that the universe is so vast that we cannot even imagine the physical extent.   If you get your mind around that, suppose that your favorite intelligent space civilization is only about half way across the universe.  That would put them about 75 BILLION light years away.

Dude, if it will take 75 billion years for the aliens to get here, what’s the point of doing anything about it?  The universe will not exist by then.

Stephen Hawking has a bit of a different idea.  If the space guys do happen to get to planet Earth, there is a good chance that they will not be friendly.  I picked up this little gem last night on Hawking’s “The Universe” series on the Discovery Channel.

Two prominent theories about extra terrestrial intelligence are a bust for SETI.

First, the universe (and the Milky Way Galaxy) are too big for any reasonable attempt at space travel.

Second, if there are space guys on the make, there is a good chance they are after our stuff.  Any intelligent life out there stands a good chance of resembling our life forms. They are probably using up their planetary resources and will soon be looking for our stuff to keep their civilizations going.

So, there is no rational reason for SETI to exist.  Either the folks they are looking for don’t exist, they are too far away, or they could be bad space aliens.

Any way you look at it SETI needs to SHUT UP!

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I really don’t want this to be one of those silly, impossible to keep lists of hopeless hopes most people make for the New Year.  Making a realistic list of goals is not an easy thing, especially if you have no goals.

There is a way to make those resolutions, and not build in the inevitable failure most do while juicing it up during the holidays.

Here it goes:

• I will get a job this year.  (Honest, honey, I will really try to do this. It may be that I need to go to school another couple of years before I can get one, but, I will not let this keep me from trying, a little.)
• I will lose 50 pounds this year.  This divides out to over 4 pounds a month.  Maybe I am being a little agressive, so I will leave myself an out by keeping the option of adjusting this goal as the year passes.
• I will not pick my nose in front of my grandson. I will wait until his back is turned.
• I will not write more than a hundred three-hundred blogs excoriating President Obama, even if he makes it easy by doing goofy things.
• I will be a better husband. I will be a better husband.  I will be a better husband.
• I will be a nicer dog owner.  I will not yell at the mutt for doing his dirty on the floor.  I reserve the right to spontaneously cancel this resolution.

There, now.  That wasn’t so hard.  The secret is to leave yourself an out, and not get serious about this stuff.

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The Mark Of The Evil Empire

The story starts in that most evil of villages, Chicago, where three young men were born, destined to bring about the collapse of an entire nation.  These three boys, Hussein, Emanual, and Axel, were born into modest but politically active homes headed, respectively, by a child abuser, a union leader, and a dirty cop.

The dynamics of this unholy trinity evolved as individual talents blossomed. Hussein became the obvious leader.  Weathering the abuse of being forced to smoke marijuana as a six year old, Hussein became horribly lazy. This condition supported his talents of manipulating people and lying, two indispensable attributes of every socialist politician on the planet.

Plus, Hussein was a good looking kid, and didn’t even air out the bathroom after his morning-glory sessions. He knew he didn’t smell like others.

Emanual was to obtain notoriety by whacking three of his cousins as they attended Sunday School.  It seems that worshiping God was a slap in the face to a servant of Satan like Emanual.  His dark talents have become legend in his devious handling of Hussein’s opposition.  Thousands will die as Emanual helps Hussein in their pursuit of dominance.

No, I did not forget Axel.  His major talent is to lie for Hussein and convince millions of modestly intelligent people that Hussein is the second coming of our Lord.  Axel would lie when the truth would sound better, and is always supported in his lies by his brothers and sisters in evil, the Demicrotch Party.

Their financial launch pad to political dominance was delivered by the evil witch and head of Chicago’s largest house of ill-repute, Jara. She hooked-up the criminally connected boys to the evil billionaire, Jorge Morose, who funded Hussein’s campaigns, evil internet blogs, and the Demicrotch Party which he owns outright.

Evil is as evil does.  What a wonderful, magically evil team.  Dishonest politicians, ambitious witches, and bitter billionaires is all it takes to still the beautiful music of freedom and democracy in the world.

This little fantasy ends with the election of The Evil One, Hussein, to the Presidency.  His malicious goals are aided by legions of Demicrotch politicians who have hitched their wagons to Hussein’s star.  The future is not rosy, and it appears that evil will overcome the world.

Where is the one who will save us from the ignominy of universal poverty?  Who will keep our spirits up as the Evil One apologizes for imagined slights on the rest of the world?  How will we overcome the outright theft of our children’s and grandchildren’s wealth as the Evil Empire forces us into economic slavery?  Who will save us?

All we have left is hope.  Yeah, now I get it.  It is all about hope and change.

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Note:  This fantasy has nothing to do with the real world.  And if you believe that, you are an agent of the Evil One.  Names have been fudged to confuse members of the Democrat Party whose actions are bringing shame to an entire nation.  I have plagerized liberally in form and substance for this article, and I apologize to no one.  I lifted the pentagram graphic from Wikipedia.