Snow In Atlanta
Yep! It’s snowing in Atlanta. It is one of those globby, wet snows that piles up on cars, but melts as soon as it hits the streets. Yards are getting a covering of white punctuated by yawning black crevasses channeling melt water to storm sewers.
This is not the pretty snow seen in northern climes. This is sloppy, ugly, wet, pneumonia breeding Southern rebel-yell snow. To add to the local misery, the kids won’t even get out of school.
Bummer!
Last night, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items for our dinner. There was hardly any bread on the shelves, and there was no milk at all. You see, it is a tradition in Atlanta that whenever “SNOW” is mentioned in the local weather forecast, everybody runs to the grocery store and stocks up on milk, bread, and other important items just in case.
Now, hoarding perishable food items is not as irresponsible as you may think. A couple of times per decade, we get an ICE STORM.
Ice storms are terrible things, and ice storms love pine trees. Atlanta, Georgia is cursed to be covered in pine trees. Pine trees are the worst kind of tree you can have. They are the weeds of the tree family.
If only all those weirdo environmental, tree-hugging idiots knew the real worth of these criminal conifers. The darned things are not even worth burning as firewood, and you can’t kill them fast enough to keep them out of you yard.
Pine trees will fall over in a heavy rain. Put a quarter of an inch of ice on their limbs, and you will have them crashing on power lines all over the Southern United States. Millions of people will be out of power, and heat, for weeks. That’s why we hoard milk and bread.
Beer works pretty good, too. If only we were shut in for a while, and I could work down this supply of beer I have laid in for the bad times.
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